Hitting the Slopes-Sharing the Light

The first weekend in March was one we will never forget. March 1st and 2nd we hosted the first McCarthy Brothers Bond Ski weekend with the New England Healing Sports Association (NEHSA) at Mt. Sunapee in Newbury, New Hampshire. Please be sure to read my previous blog post to learn about our history with NEHSA. I started planning for this weekend back in November of last year- on the one year anniversary of Shane's death I was once again struggling with the why us?, why did Shane have to go? and I knew I needed to start planning something- I needed a focus to keep my mind busy, something to feed my heart with purpose, something to do to try to make Shane proud of me, something to do so that he would be reminded of how much we loved and missed him and above all- how blessed we all were to have him in our lives- even if it was not for nearly as long as we wanted.

I exchanged an email with Sue Mills, a long time NEHSA volunteer, a friend, a loyal Instagram follower asking for her help and suggestions. Soon after I logged into my first zoom call with Sue and Carly Bascom- the executive director at NEHSA. It had been years since our family had been involved with NEHSA- but it is such a special place to us an organization that is centered on hope and resilience and figuring out a way to move forward, a way to make the most out of what you do have- not focusing on what you might be missing. After emails and conversations we landed on a rather simple approach- we would pick a weekend and surprise all the participants and their families by picking up their tab. We would use this opportunity to honor all the memories our family had made doing something that the boys loved. It would give us the opportunity to bring our friends and family together again- we know we are not the only ones trying to navigate life after losing Shane. It is a long and bumpy road- but when together it certainly makes it more manageable. In my previous post I told you all about the beautiful new sit ski that we donated as a family. So this weekend served as a dedication for that as well as an event for the foundation.

Mike and I arrived early at the lodge on Saturday morning to a beautiful sunny morning and a little bit of fresh snow. At 7:30 in the morning the lodge was bustling with the backbone of NEHSA- Carly, Kelly the program coordinator, and Carol the office manager, along with the heart and soul of NEHSA- all the volunteers. Many already in their red and black jackets suited up checking the board to see who they were partnered with for the day.

The place buzzes with excitement as the participants arrive for the day and get ready. It was heart warming to surprise families and to get to meet them. We had a brochure that we offered families so that they could learn our story and also had a display set up showing our NEHSA journey.

We provided gaiters/buffs for folks to wear on the slopes, drawings for door prizes, free snacks and we were proudly selling our heritage logo t shirts and sweatshirts. The gift of a 45 degree day enabled many of our family and friends to ski in the sweatshirts.

The morning had already been emotional - being back in the building was like returning home- we felt so welcomed, everyone was so accommodating to us and our friends and families who were adding a little bit of happy chaos to the lodge as well. In my previous blog post I talked about Lou - who was Colin's driver on that first day and I talked of Tom - who was the director back when we began our journey. Starting my day with them was emotional and the tears flowed - I was so happy that they would want to be a part of this. I also talked about Meg- Colin's PT, she had not arrived at the lodge when I left to get Colin but I hoped she was going to be there- I knew she was going to try. I headed back to the house to get Colin geared up to be ready for the 11am dedication ceremony. One of our nurses from home that had made the journey up to Sunapee, Tessa already had him ready to go. We loaded up and headed back to the mountain. Or at least that's what we tried to do. That little bit of snow that had come over night along with the colder overnight temperatures made the dirt road slippery. There was just enough of a slope to try to get up that my van was not having it. Six times I drove up until I began spinning and sliding and then backing back down to the flat. Tessa encouraged me as I broke down in tears. I put the van in park took a minute to collect myself and then asked Shane for some help. Within minutes we saw a shiny plow on the front of a truck cresting the top of the hill. He was sanding the road! Thank you Shane for getting us the help we needed. One more attempt and we were up and on our way- just a quick 6 minute drive to the mountain.

So many people were there already: longtime friends Matt and his son Matty, also Matt's nephew Tyler, Craig and his daughter Sarah plus two of her friends, my sister Cindy, my niece Chelsea and great nephew Liam who was on his own adventure in a ski lesson for the day. Mike's cousins Jeanne and Kathleen along with her son Tom. Friends of Shane's that he made on the cape- Maddy, Luke, and Chase with his girlfriend Ava. Shane's DA and Northeastern classmate Sam.

There were some new additions when I got back Mike's Mom, Lena had arrived and a longtime family friend that was a paraprofessional and PCA when Colin was in school- Wendy with her partner Scott.

And there was Meg - the woman responsible for us coming to NEHSA to begin with she had come to be a part of this too. My heart was bursting and as you already know- I was crying again.

Time was moving quickly our plan was to have the dedication during lunch so our next order of business was the dedication of the McCarthy Brothers Bond sled. After a kind and thoughtful introduction and giant thank you from Carly for our donation of the beautiful sled, I was able to share our story with all that were present- explaining how we got to NEHSA, pointing out that our original group (The OGS) - Lou, Meg and Tom were all present. I talked about Shane and how much he loved coming to the mountain, how fun it was for him to take a lesson in the morning and then to join Mike and Colin in the afternoon, the NEHSA volunteers always giving Shane their attention and kindness as well. We emphasized how being with NEHSA made us feel like just a regular family, just a Dad getting to ski with his two boys. We also stressed the importance of taking time to be together as a family, making memories with the people you love. We were able to thank everyone there for the support they continue to give us and had introduced our foundation to many new folks as well. But above all else we were taking our tragedy and turning it into triumph- doing good with the donations we have received, paying it forward, honoring the bond of our boys. Mike and I had placed a MBB sticker on the sled earlier in the day but we had two small ones added- one by a family member- Chelsea and another by a chosen family member - Chase. The sled had been numbered 21 as I had requested- 21 for the day Colin was born, 21 for how old Shane was at the time of his death and to represent my 2 boys- that now are in one body, one body that now carries 2 souls.

We then started preparing for Colin's return to the slopes. Colin would be the first one to ride in the new sled and he would be driven by Lou with Meg and Tom as the guides and all the other people there to ski with us would be part of his inaugural run. It take s a bit of time to get Colin transferred, and buckled and mittens on and a helmet and goggles- basically all the things that Colin is not a fan of and never seem to fit just right! Just like that first day- Lou made sure everything was just right- and then they were off- for that damn chairlift again. It terrified me on day one when they loaded Colin up and it scared me again as Colin loaded and eventually went out of site.

The wait seems like forever- from when the chair lift Colin is riding on goes out of site making it's way to the top of the South Peak Area of Mt. Sunapee until when you eventually see him reappear. I was grateful for Mike's lime green ski pants- he can easily be spotted from a distance.

Mike spoke from his heart at the top as they prepared to make that magical run down the mountain.

I have tried to get the videos to load on this page-but just can not get them to cooperate. Please visit our Instagram page or NEHSA's Instagram page to see the videos from this run. It was everything that we had hoped it would be and so much more- Mike skied Colin on the home stretch down to all of us waiting below. Once again a Dad was skiing with his two boys- and there is no doubt that everyone there felt Shane's presence ! They sure did not hang around long at the base- back on the lift they went- for 5 more runs- Colin and Mike loving every minute of it. Lou Meg and Tom once again skiing with our boy.

The beautiful day, the dedicated volunteers and the support of our friends and family made this such a special day for us.

Thankful for our friends and family that joined us on Day 1 of McCarthy Brothers Bond NEHSA Ski Weekend

I am going to do an additional post to talk about Day 2. But I thought I would end this post with an image that Carly sent me later that evening. On the first chairlift ride up the mountain for Colin's inaugural run in the McCarthy Brothers Bond sit ski - she was riding with Sue, Meg and Mike she happened to - for some reason- notice the empty chair headed down the hill. That empty chair which just so happened to be #21.

Thank you Shane- for giving us these beautiful signs that you were taking in every moment with us.

We love you - I will continue to do my best to make you proud each and every day.

Visit the projects tab for more information about our day and how your donations are being used.